"Socafriends"

We all have friends- even the most socially distant, introverted and anti-social among us. Some people have 3,135 friends (as recorded by their social media platforms), while others have, well, less than that. But how many of those people in your life are true friends? How many of them would be there for you in the middle of the night when you're stranded on some dark, country back road with a busted bike? How many of them can you count on to bring you a gallon of gas when you run out, a sandwich when you're hungry or will call you and comfort you when your dog dies? How many of them have you done that for? Are you the type of friend that, if your kid was having a birthday party and you got a phone call from your buddy saying that he needed some help, you would jump in the car and drive 20 miles to help him out?  Are you that person? 

  

It seems like everybody in this age of social media, likes, follows, hashtags and emojis has forgotten (or maybe they never even knew) what true friendship really is. Oh, you have two thousand friends on Facebook... sooo great... but, how many of them know you, truly know you? How many of them know that you're lactose intolerant, have diabetes, or that you are self-conscious about your ears? I'm not bashing those that collect "friends", but is it really fair or truthful to call them friends? 

I've got somewhere around, oh let's say... 5-7 friends. I have a few hundred acquaintances, but only a handful of actual friends. Some I talk to almost daily, others I haven't seen in person in several years and I only really communicate with them through social media. Those 5-7 people are the ones that I know, without a doubt, would be there for me, and I would be there for them at any time. But, I'm also that friend that, when someone calls me and asks for help, I go help them... even if I know, without a doubt, that they will not reciprocate. I've always tried to be there when one of my friends, no... not friends, let's call them so-called friends- "socafriends", for short. I've always tried to be there when one of my socafriends needed me. If only people were honest enough to actually say what they truly meant, it would certainly cut down on any confusion as to who you could, or could not, rely on when you are in a pinch.

"Hey man, can you come work on my bike for me? I know haven't ever done anything but talk shit about you behind your back, but I also know that you are pretty handy with a set of wrenches and know a few things about motorcycles and I really don't want to pay an actual mechanic. So, I'd rather just be nice to you for a little while until you have my bike fixed, then go back to ignoring you, instead."

But, it's not that way, is it? Nope, we have to try the ole, trial and error thing, instead. You spend four hours on a Saturday, helping a "friend" move, then the following Friday, you find out he's having a housewarming party that you weren't invited to. Turns out, he was just a socafriend. Or, maybe you spend a week, working on a "friend's" bike only to watch him sell it a month later and not even offer to give you a few bucks for your trouble, or even buy you lunch. Socafriend. As for me, I've given my friends motorcycle parts that I wasn't using, wrenched, for hours and days, on their bikes, helped them move, helped them fix their cars, given them advice, helped them through tough situations, you name it. But, when the task is done... all I've seen in return, from all but around 5-7 of them, is a whole lot of nothing. They go back to talking shit and making snide comments about me, or most commonly- simply and conveniently forgetting who I am until the next time that they need me. 

Now, I know what you're thinking- when those socafriends call again, don't help them, just tell them to piss off, right?!? Nope. Not me, anyway. I'll help them again. It's not because I'm a sucker for punishment or that I like the abuse, but it's because I am just trying to be a good person and I always try to do the best that I can for the time that I'm here. Look, it's not their fault that they're selfish jerks. They have their circle of 5-7 true friends and I'm just not in it. I'm totally good with that too, because I know that I don't want to be in a circle with people who will treat others like that. Instead, I'd rather be the guy that people can rely on when they need help even if those people don't really deserve the help that I give them. The world is full of shitty people, I don't want to be another one and I certainly don't want my son's to be that way. Besides, that's how you learn who are your friends, and who are your socafriends. As my beautiful and intelligent wife would say- learning is fun! 

I implore you to be that person who helps. Be a good friend, even to those socafriends.