You might be wondering what in the hell I’m talking about and… that’s okay. Sorry… I couldn’t resist throwing one more in there. But seriously, it really is okay.
Recently, at my “paying job” as I like to call it, I learned that some of my “friends” had been talking trash about me behind my back. To say that I was salty about the whole situation is an understatement, but given the dynamics of the situation, I was not (and have not been) in a position where I could address it, so I’ve been forced to hold my tongue, which isn’t exactly an easy thing for me to do. With friends like these, I don’t need enemies, right?
I was so salty about all this that in my absence of proper mototherapy to keep me balanced, I sat down and typed a big piece about betrayal and, in my best efforts of trying to be positive, how it should be embraced. I typed that a few days ago with full intent to post it this week… but something was holding me back.
This morning, before I left for work, I was perusing the ‘Gram and saw a post from the charming and funny maggie_gulasey and it really got me thinking. Now, I’m not really one to get on the socials much… I try to post things for my readers so that they know I’m not a robot in the Middle East fishing for their account info… but I’m more of a “live my life in real life” kind of a person. So, getting back to my point- I saw Maggie’s post and I really felt what she was saying and then, she asked a question of her *many* followers that I was curious to read their responses to. Maggie, who according to her IG profile is a "journalist, writer, and an unbridled motorcycle enthusiast," basically summed it up like this- her motorcycle is her therapy and in the winter, or when her bike is broken, she feels out of sorts. Now, I can be a pretty creative writer, but I didn’t even try to put a spin on her words, because in my opinion, she expressed her feelings perfectly. Interestingly enough, the vast majority of people who responded to her question, answered with the same heartfelt sentiment that she expressed in her post. Reading those comments made me realize something- the frustrations and chaos that I feel when I haven’t been able to ride is something that, unbeknownst to me, I share with other people. There are actually a bunch of other people who, just like me, find peace in the saddle of their bikes and that, my friends, is something that made me feel significantly better about everything.
It also got me thinking. If I’m not the only one that uses a motorcycle as a true therapeutic session for improving my mental health then maybe, just maybe, there are other ways to unwrap those convoluted and chaotic thoughts. I like to write. I like to encourage people and send out positive vibes into the world any time that I can. I’d love it if something I wrote actually helped someone through a tough time. I really hope that I can offer something positive in a world so full of negativity.
So, what does all this mean? How is everything okay? It means that we are all a little screwed up. We are all battling some kinds of demons. You are not alone. I’ve seen some pretty traumatic things in my life- horrors of this world that we live in and yet, for the most part, I sleep pretty damn well. I’m not an alcoholic and I’m not addicted to anything… nothing other than coffee and motorcycles, that is. I’m not bragging by any means. I have a strong family support system and I have my bike to help me compartmentalize those thoughts, memories, fears, anxieties and stressors. My motorcycle is my therapist and riding is my therapy sessions… hence why I call it “mototherapy.” When I can’t ride, I try to find similar peace by tapping into my right brain a little. I don’t have much talent, so I fake my way with the only thing that I feel comfortable with doing, and that is through my writing. Truth be known, I probably only have a handful of people that actually read this blog, but I’ll take it as a compliment that I at least have them…or you, as it were.
The one thing that I’ve really been able to deduce as a result of my “epiphany” today is this- we are all struggling and we are all okay. We are all normal, because what the hell is the basis by which to judge or measure what is normal? "Normal" is what is common and generally applicable to most people, to not put too fine a point on it. What is common and generally applies to every single person I know is that we are all a little fu**ed up! We are all a bit negative, we are angry, we are hurt, we have been damaged and we have all been betrayed. Some of us have been hardened by the world while others embrace their empathy. One is not better than the other, because our society requires both in order to have balance. Some are built for war, while others are born as peacekeepers… but both are very much necessary for the existence and maintenance of a civilized society.
So, if you’ve been betrayed or hurt by people you considered friends, it’s okay to be mad. If you’ve experienced some horrible thing, it’s okay to be traumatized by it. If you’ve seen the horrors of this world and you don’t lose a wink of sleep, it’s okay that you're not traumatized by it. There’s nothing wrong with you because of how you deal with these things, as long as you’re dealing with them in a positive, healthy way.
Don’t try to drink your demons away, or medicate them out of your mind. Face them. Fight them. Cope with your trauma in a way that works for you and those that love you. Forgive those raggedy bastards that betrayed you, then use their betrayal as your armor so that they can’t get you a second time. Find people that understand and appreciate you for who you are, then let them replace those who work against you and betray your trust.
Above all though- don’t let anyone steal your happiness from you. Be positive, be confident and be trustworthy. Be the kind of friend that you wish you had.
Ride safe and stay awesome MotoReaders.
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